Movies in theatre

Okay, so many of these movies may no longer be in theatres, but they are not on DVD yet (at least to my knowledge).

RATING LEGEND:

R = rating out of 5 with 5 being excellent and 1 being very poor

V = number of times I've viewed the movie

OLD SCHOOL

Old School is a great leave-your-brains-at-the-door movie. I was surprised this was a Dream Works production but just like any Hollywood production company they'll sink to any low to make a buck. Oh, I mean, maybe they were just expanding their generic horizons. (Please send my check to: The Cynical Sell-Out @ 123 Hollywood Money Whore Dr., Hollywood, CA)

Hold on a second! One example of the large budget involved is the cameo by Snoop Dawg. Snoop is at first entertaining and, after singing for a while, boring.

Vince Vaugn and Will Farrel drive this movie with their outrageous and hilarious characters. On the other hand, Luke Wilson is a rather sterile and quiet plot device in the film. Like a good little automaton, he does his job well. The movie made me laugh but its humour is off-put by too many quasi-dramatic scenes. In my opinion, the comedy should have gone all the way or not at all.

Some highlights: Will Farrel's bum, 2 topless girls in a pool full of K-Y jelly, and a small role played by Craig Kilborne.

I recommend this movie if you need a laugh; however, I strongly recommend the use of beer or some other mind altering substance to enhance the experience.

R - 3
V - 1

DARE DEVIL

Well I took the dare. And now I feel dirty for recycling that tagline. Marvel's Dare Devil is a reasonably big change from Spider-Man, which is move that lead me to have an ambiguous reaction. Dare Devil is a dark and brooding character and despite my cynicism about Ben Affleck, he managed to inhabit the role convincingly. My difficulty with the film is that is attempts to be adult and yet it still is speckled with comical scenes.

The fight scenes held a lot of promise but they quickly became confusing in their presentation. The camera rapidly alternates between a spectator's view to Dare Devil's radar-vision view. The latter is a creative perspective but it makes following the often dizzying action too confusing.

As for the plot, it was a Revenge story and a Love story grafted together. This formula failed for me; it seemed like two television episodes mingled together. Nevertheless, the characters--Dare Devil, Bulls Eye and King Pin--were engaging and well-cast. Although King Pin was on screen far too little.

Trivia challenge:
1) Find Stan Lee, who makes his obligatory cameo.
2) Which Dare Devil comic artist and now film director makes a cameo in the movie?

If you want to see a Marvel film mostly faithful to the comic book, the movie is worth seeing. Expect lots of action and an under-developed script.

R - 3.5
V - 1

RED DRAGON

Not only is this film a prequel in the Hannibal series but it's a remake of Man Hunter. I've never seen the earlier version of this movie but apparently it wasn't too successful.

Red Dragon is a return to suspense and well-rounded character development like in Silence of the Lambs. The last installment, Hannibal, was overtly gory and over-the-top. Red Dragon returns to a focus on the characters and developing their psychological nuances. The result is a very creepy murder investigation headed by Will Graham (Edward Norton) and one extremely frightening killer called the Tooth-Fairy (Ralph Fiennes).

Norton is the profiler who originally catches Hannibal but in the process he nearly loses his life. The scenes between Hopkins and Norton are delightful and eerie. The film is minimal in its on-screen violence but the implications and audio effects charge your imagination more than any Hollywood special effects artists could.

One complaint I do have is that Will Graham's familiy feels like a tacked on plot device. *sigh* Upon self-reflection isn't it curious how I am refering to characters by the actor who plays them in this review. I must admit I have a strong bias because I respect Edward Norton as an actor.

Go see Red Dragon and expect to be disturbed!

FAVOURITE DIALOGUE:

Hopkins: "Then how did you catch me?"
Norton: "You had - disadvantages?"
Hopkins: "What disadvantages?"
Norton: "You're insane."

R – 4.5
V – 1

ONE HOUR PHOTO

One Hour Photo is a creepy psychological drama. The movie is full of awkward scenes. Robin Williams gives a wonderfully eerie performance as Sy Parrish. Admittedly, this movie is not for everyone. A window into the life of an obsessed and lonely stalker will turn off many viewers; however, the message conveyed by One Hour Photo is important. There is a reversal in the end that leaves the audience asking was there a "bad guy" in this movie and if so who was it really?

The film abounds with symbolism in its imagery. Every scene is shot with different lenses so it's like viewing each scene as different photo that has been developed with a unique tint or motif. Despite the film's 18A rating there is sparse coarse language and only minor nudity. As for violence, there is a horrible (and Oedipal) dream sequence but it is very brief.

 

R – 4
V – 1

SIGNS

Signs is a slow moving yet involving film. The plot is unexpected and
spends a good amount of time developing its characters. The film is
suspenseful and creates many scares.
The whole cast does a great job of playing their parts and making the story
believable. An especially wonderful performance comes from the film's
youngest actors Rory Culkin and Abigail Breslin who play the children to
Mel Gibson's character.

* QUIRKS: Shyamalan has some fixation on water. Good ole H2O is
harmful to Bruce Willis in Unbreakable and now to the alien invaders in
Signs. Also Joacquin Phoenix seems to like playing supporting roles
to older Australian men: first Russel Crowe, now Mel Gibson.

R – 4
V – 1

AUSTIN POWERS 3: Goldmember

This installment of the Austin Powers series humourously sends itself up and will make your eyes wet with laughter. The first ten minutes of the movie make paying for it all worthwhile. It is true the plot line is a little weak but it is successful as various hilarious skits strung together.

There are numerous well-played cameos by a myriad of Hollywood stars. One of my favourites is Britney Spears as a femme-bot. You’ll have to excuse my triteness, but oops Mike Meyers did it again: he made a hilarious movie and created another character for himself. Goldmember is the title character that Mike plays along with Austin, Dr. Evil and Fat Bastard. Goldmember has his moments but overall he is a flat and creepy character. Though the latter was intended, many people find that Goldmember does nothing for the rest of the film.

R - 3
V – 2

SPIDER-MAN

Toby Maguire is a dork so he is a fitting Peter Parker. Kirsten Dunst doesn’t turn in a stellar performance but her nipples are blatantly erect in the kiss-in-a-white-T-shirt-in-the-rain scene. Willem Dafoe does a delightful job of portraying the conflicted madness of Norman Osborne/ the Green Goblin.

Though my skepticism of so much computer graphic Spidey was strong, I was thrilled by the dynamic use of computer generated camera work that allowed me to follow the swinging web crawler between the buildings of New York. The computer graphics are blatant; however, they are done in such a way that one can suspend disbelief and becomes involved in the world of this corny web crawler.

I don’t mean to rub salt in wounds or step on toes. That said – why didn’t the twin Trade Towers get left in. It seems to me it would be a tribute to have them remain in the film. I know they were removed from the original theatrical trailer but I think they may have snuck into the background of Spidey swinging around once. Anyone know if I’m right or just full of radioactive spider crap?

Overall this cynic was entertained. The comic world of Spiderman was brought to life. Though it is unclear which nemesis Spidey will face in his next likely installment, it is clear that it will be worth seeing on the big screen.

*QUIRKS: There are appearances by Randy Macho Man Savage who is notorious for being a pro wrestler from years past and for spouting the memorable commercial tag line: “Snap into a Slim Jim. Ooooh yeah!” Also this movie holds true to Sam Raimi’s recurrent casting of Bruce Campbell whose acting opus was Army of Darkness.

R – 4
V – 1

STAR WARS - Episode II: Attack of the Clones

The title - like the dialogue - is unfortunate. Despite the title summoning
up images of Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, the second installment of the Star
Wars series is very entertaining. The movie gets going and the action
rarely stops. For those who are made easily queasy by a lot of movement and
heights, you may prefer seeing this movie on a small screen.

While entertainment value is better than Episode I, the dialogue is more
painful at parts. In particular, Anakin and Amidala's love affair is
forced. Much of the highly emotional dialogue is awkward and the actor's even seem to have problems delivering it.

On the plus side, the plot is more unpredictable and surprising than the last installment. Furthermore, Jar Jar Binks has a tolerably small role. Attack of the Clones is worth seeing just to see Yoda fight. Expect to be entertained with stunning visuals and constant action but leave your critical brain at the door.

*QUIRKS: Padmé's easily removable shirt thrilled both the 13-year-old boy demographic along with George Lucas.

R – 2.5
V – 1

8-LEGGED FREAKS

This B horror flic is passable but only barely. As a B-movie, 8-Legged
Freaks has its moments of cheesy terror and humorous dialogue. Overall
though the movie is unoriginal and the acting performances are flat.
On the plus side, the movie sends up and makes allusion to other B-movie
plot devices and recurrent scenes. The presence of two strong female
characters is nice for the P.C. crowd. I must admit that it was refreshing
to see a teenage girl not put out for her controlling jock boyfriend.
Instead, in an original scene, she stun guns him in the thigh.
So if you like to see cliched characters, computer animated spiders and
indiscriminate killing, then this is your movie.

R – 2
V – 1

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